STRENGTH OR WEAKNESS

Is our pastor just challenging me lately? Or does his preaching also jumble others? Well I remember I asked for growth in my life, so I probably should not be surprised that things start to become puzzling.

My "Fathers" steps are very visually lately! Sunday morning I had my devotions (2.Chr.20, 1-30) about "Moabites declaring war against Juda = Jehoshaphat". He (Jehoshaphat) was terrified - but first thing he asked for GODs help....... not somewhere hidden in a corner, but OUT IN PUBLIC!.....Everyone was able to observe or hear him!....... Would a king do the same today? ......Officially admit, he is scared and needs help? ........ What would I do in the same situation? ........ Would I be too proud to admit fear?........ What picture would I give in public? .... Rather hiding?...... Risking to appear as a weak person? ....... Or would I consider a king, crying out to the Lord in public, a strong leader? ...... Would I rely on the LORD in that case or rather consider clever advice by politicians? ….
Guess I would love to ask Jehoshaphat this question!

I am keeping this huge list with all questions ....... still unanswered :-(( ....... and I cheat myself thinking, I will be able to ask GOD all these questions someday! Probably at that very moment, I won't have questions anymore….. But until that day, the list is getting looooong!
It is also true, the more I know and experience the Lord........ Sorry GUYS, not the less questions I have, but....... the more questions appear….. Some get answered, but at the same time, there are equally more to come.

AND then Mark preached on Sunday (Heb. 5,10) ........ As soon as he started talking about weakness….. I DEFINATLY GOT THE POINT – this was for me!

As if GOD wants to prove this reality to me, the week is one challenge after another and I am feeling totally exposed and weak! But I learned HIS STRENGTH is with the weak….. So I probably should feel GOOD about it….. Mh, if you would have told me...... exactly that ...... yesterday evening, I would have yelled at you!

Eg. I will share some incidents …… getting a structural drawing 10 days before the deadline or technical project (!!!)....... recognizing nothing is as discussed ......... but effecting 7 - A1 sheets of printouts......... THAT feels like being sued and sitting in jail already......... I was out of my mind....... “Do I actually have an engineer in this project???”…. "Who is drawing this stuff?"....... “What is this guy thinking?”…… "Does he care at all???” …. “It will costs my health again! Nightshifts, simply to finish in time!” …..

So, work is not always a piece of cake! It also shows perfectly how weak I am, and how proud I can be, thinking I would handle my daily life without GOD!

There are a few lessons here for me to learn…..